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| Photo: Wikimedia |
I came straight from the Incheon airport to SM Entertainment
brand new head quarter in Cheongdam-dong area of Seoul to meet the highly
popular actress and singer, Sulli. Actually I was surprised to get the
assignment to interview this star, as our publication normally does not cover
tabloid articles like this. But, hey, the times change and we must adapt to the
times.
Anyway, it would be exciting to meet celebrities in the
epicenter of the K-Pop industry, the driver of “Hallyu“ or “Korean Wave”. If
lucky, I may also got see BoA, TVXQ, Super Junior, SNSD, Shinee, f(x), EXO,
Girls’ Generation, etc. Just follow the screaming voice of the fans and I could
find them.
Sulli appeared to be a modest behaviour girl, too modest for
her stage persona. Dressed like other Korean girl, yellow with flower
embroidery pinned to the skirt, like she was going to a wedding party. Her
smile was sweet, which she covered it with her hand when she laughed, like a
shy teen girl meeting a cute boy. So much different than the way she dressed
and danced on stage, or on video clip or as a drug addict on her latest movie.
Her skin was as white as milk, like other Korean girls, her hair
bleached to pinkish blond, like many other Korean celebrities. Her eyes looked
puffy like what we can see on many of her photos and instagrams, the puffy
lower eyelids looked dark, probably because of cosmetic, not sure.
Anyway, it was very pleasant to meet her, she was very
friendly and casual, no ‘diva’ air in her behaviour. Neither did she looked like
Sulli the controversial girl that rocked the social media with her appearance
and statements, rather she was soft spoken and occasionally smiled and laughed.
So, after greeting her, I went straight to my check list
that I prepared, not to waste time:
“Sulli, you began your career as a trainee at the very young
age of 11 in 2004, and then played the young Princess Seonhwa of Silla in the drama
movie Ballad of Seodong. Further, as a young actress you played in drama movie
like the ‘Vacation’, ‘Punch Lady’, ‘Babo’.
Then you debuted as a member of the girl singing group f(x) in 2009,
while in the mean time you continued your acting career and peaked in the television
drama series ‘To the Beautiful You’. In this drama series you received the New
Star Award in 2012 for your role as a girl disguised as a boy to meet an athlete
idol, played by Choi Minho of Shinee. All
I can say, what an impressive career Sulli, you must have been under huge
pressure to achieve all that at young age.”
Sulli:
“I think because I've been active since I was young, there
haven't been many people who thought of me as young. There were a lot of scary
moments. If they told me to do something, I would, and I didn't even know the
reason why I had to. At a certain point, I started to wonder, 'Why do I have to
do this?' I don't think it was a good fit for me. I was under so much pressure. I often felt
scared. “
I said:
“You left the girls singing group f(x) in 2014, reportedly
due to mental and physical exhaustion and to focus on your acting career. What
happened….?”
Sulli:
“I had been struggling with online abuse, and struggling
with a panic disorder, social phobia my whole life …. I’ve had panic disorder
ever since I was young. There were times when close people… Some of my closest
friends have left me. People hurt me, so everything fell apart. I didn’t feel
like I had anyone on my side or anyone who could understand me. So that’s why I
completely fell apart. I was scared and unsure of my future, so I think I tried
to protect myself as much as possible. I was trying to protect myself, so there
was a sense of urgency. There wasn't anybody to listen to me when I was going
through a hard time. It felt like I was just left alone in the world”.
I said:
“It was also rumored that you took a break from the
entertainment industry due to the stress of rumors revolving around your
relationship with Dynamic Duo's Choiza. The two of you later confirmed your
relationship. The 14-year age gap with the then 20-year old you as well as
Choiza’s rough and thuggish image shattered your cutesy pop idol facade –
fueling fans’ outrage at the relationship. Is Choiza your ideal type really?”
Sulli:
“My ideal type is someone that is dependable, that doesn’t
act cute a lot and listens to everything I say. It would be nice if he is
always in the same place. And that he should be a man with straight hair, tidy
clothing, sexy, and a dignified and open mind.”
I said:
“And Choiza said in an interview that his ideal type has
never been a pretty woman or a young woman. He has never felt attraction
towards someone who is both, but he really got along well with you, Sulli. You
two have a lot in common. He also said that he takes inspiration from his relationship
with you. He said, that it’s especially true that these memories are engraved
in his songs. One of the songs that he wrote while dating you is ‘Eat, Do It,
Sleep’, received criticism from Korean listeners due to its sexual and
suggestive lyrics, and many presumed that the song was about you.”
Sulli:
“Back then I used to upload pictures of our dates. But when
I posted one of our kisses, haters flocked to my Instagram, saying ‘Did you
have to post this?’, ‘Please get married. Looks like you’ll have to.’
But I could care less what they say. I was in love and I was
proud to show it. Why am I not allowed to post a photo of our kiss?”
I said:
“You have also come under fire for your posts on Instagram,
which have been perceived by many as too revealing. In some of your photos, you
were wearing thin, see-through lingerie, no bra, showing your nipples. What
comments did you receive from the netizens about these photos?”.
Sulli:
“Something like, ‘Is Sulli's beauty real?’, ‘So beautiful in
fall’, ‘I can't stop looking even though I try not too’, ‘She's a public
figure. Can't she hold back a little bit?’, ‘You want to get naked so bad,
huh?’,
‘Who does this? Who takes pictures like this and posts
them?’, and more…..”
I said:
“In the Reality TV show Night of Hate Comments, where Korean
celebrities gathered to tackle cyberbullying by reading and discussing harsh
comments, you talked with a light laughter that you were sitting there in the
show without wearing a bra. Why did you choose no bra clothing?”
Sulli:
“It is the freedom of the individual. Bras aren’t good for
your health, they have a wire, they are not good for your digestive organs, and
I have issues with my digestion. Since it’s more comfortable not to, I don’t
wear them. I think that it’s free and beautiful. I also think of bras as
accessories. They suit some clothing and if there is a clothing that doesn’t
look good with bra, then I don’t wear one. When I first posted a ‘no bra photo’
there was a lot of talk about it. I was scared and could have hidden, but the
reason I didn’t is that I want to change people’s prejudices about that. Part
of me also wanted to say ‘This isn’t that big of a deal’. I have heard that
lately there are more people who go out without bras on.”
I said:
“Did you file a criminal complaint against those people who
wrote malicious comment about you?”
Sulli:
“I had filed a criminal complaint against someone. However,
I found out that the person was going to a famous university and was the same
age as me. If I wasn’t lenient with a student who goes to such good university,
that person would become an ex-convict. The person would have issue when trying
to find a job later on. I received a long letter from the malicious commenter.
The person said sorry and hadn’t known it would become such a big issue, and
had taken out their stress on me. I felt bad about turning someone my own age
into an ex convict and decided to be lenient. However, if I file a complaint
again I won’t be lenient ……(laughing, covering it with her hand).”
I said:
“Another controversy was about your comment in regards to
South Korea's lift on the abortion ban. On 11th April 2019 the
government ruled the 66-year-old anti-abortion law as unconstitutional. The
anti-abortion law made having an abortion a crime and punishable up to 2 years
in prison.”
Sulli:
“On that day, I shared a photo of flowers via Instagram and
stated, ‘abortion crime abolished. It's an honorable day! Give choice to all
women."
I said:
“Given that the subject of abortion has always been a
controversial one, it would have been best for celebrities to perhaps been
discreet about how overjoyed you were. While these acts aren’t surprising for
the Western world, Korea’s conservative beliefs and culture lead to your
condemnation in the public eye.”
Sulli:
“ Sorry, I do not wish to make any
further comment about my stance on this matter.”
I said:
“There are people who suspected that you were using drug by looking
at some of your Instagram posts, your pupils look dilated. Is it true?”
Sulli:
“There are people who have uploaded comparison photos of my
pupils next to the photos of people who really do drugs. I did a film called
‘Real’ and there was a scene that portrayed drug use. I did a lot of research
then and watched 5 films a day about drugs. So, my friend said: ‘Are you Heath
Ledger or something?’, I told them
‘Can’t I do methodical acting too? I do this because I want to do a good job.’
I could take a strand of my hair now to test whether I have
been using drug.”
I said:
“I see, a hair follicle drug test is the only drug test that
can detect repeated drug use up to 90 days prior to the test. But you had dyed
her hair and eyebrows….”
Sully:
“Then I do it with my leg hair….. (laughing, covering it with
her hand). I don’t do anything illegal, I act freely within the limit of the
law.”
I said:
“You mentioned the movie ‘Real’, which you starred with top-tier actor Kim Soo Hyun in 2017, but actually flopped
in the box office. Why do you think so?”
Sulli:
“Its convoluted plot and twists are hard to understand and
failed any effort to make the audiences’ mind blown. In Kim Soo Hyun words, the
film isn’t exactly the kind of movie that people will naturally like at first
so it will take some time for it to sink in. But the reviews were so harsh it
brought Kim Soo Hyun to tears when giving speech during the promotional events
for the movie. The tears didn’t last long, though, and he was quickly able to
get ahold of himself and finish up with his speech.”
I said:
“Actually, your overdosed death scene in the bathtub hugged
by Kim Soo Hyun was quite touching and memorable. Your scenes were not that many but receive
good comments from your fans. And the negative reviews that ‘Real’ has been
getting, you were able to portray an unconventional and risky role, which has
opened more doors for your acting career.
But somehow the scene that went viral is your explicit sex
scene with Kim Soo Hyun, your naked breasts visible in the scene, was this
scene really necessary to the story?”
Sulli:
“Yes, I feel the explicit sex scenes are necessary to the
story. I don’t think it was easy. It was a huge challenge for me, acting-wise
and in other areas. It was hard and I had a lot of concerns but it was fun.
I think I have a lot of ambition when it comes to acting. It
grew when I was shooting this film. I felt something like a sense of
achievement while acting.”
I said:
“After you left the girl singing group f(x) in 2014 to take
a break, as you became mentally and physically exhausted from the continuous
malicious comments and false rumors, then in 2017 you renewed your contract
with SM Entertainment for movies and other programs. Then in 2019 you returned to the K-Pop idol
scene, debuting as a soloist in the Music Video single album ‘Goblin’. You
helped to write the lyrics of the three songs.
The song ‘Goblin’ tells an internal
monologue where a lady, which you portrayed, converses with three personalities,
one good, one bad, and the other being her normal self. They want to be
accepted by the lady since she has a dissociative order. With all of the
controversies you have had in the past, people may easily assume that the song is
indeed talking about you and your experience.”
Sulli:
“The three personalities are not
monsters or goblins and the lady even comforted them saying ‘don’t be afraid, I
just wanna tell you hi.’ (she mumbled the song)….. Don’t be so
hard on me, I’m not a bad person (trying to smile through her sorrows). Please
don’t misunderstand me.
You know, my name Sulli, Sul
means snow, and Li means the flower of Callery pear tree, originated from China
and Vietnam, with small 5 petals white flowers, so I will probably reincarnate into a flower
that, though small, will be full of vitality.”
I said:
“Thank you Sulli for this interesting interview, but I have
a last request, may I …ehm…..hug you…?”
Sulli said “Sure” with a sweet smile and reached for the
hug. She smelled like the rose of the ‘Romance’ fragrance by Ralph Lauren ……
THE END
This is an imaginary interview in memory of Sulli.
Sources:
https://www.allkpop.com ; https://www.kcrush.com ; https://www.worldofbuzz.com ; https://channel-korea.com ; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JF9lO9hvdw
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